One of my favorite song lyrics of all time comes from Francesca Battistelli’s “If We’re Honest”. As someone who has always been more introverted, “Everyone has a heart that loves to hide,” can be a perfect description of my mindset when faced with the choice to interact with others or to avoid the interaction. At times, it feels uncomfortable and unnatural to talk with anyone who is not a close family member or friend, and so I don’t do it. If there is one place in the Bible that sums up this predicament for me it is in Hebrews 24-25: “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:24-25 NIV) The middle part of this excerpt is 100% me. For much of my life, I gave up on meeting people. I wanted people to leave me alone and in turn I wouldn’t bother them either. I allowed the enemy to infiltrate my mind and believed him when he told me “You’re just an awkward person,” or “If you go over and talk to those people, you will mess it up.” I lived in fear of being rejected and my answer was to not give people that chance.
One of the greatest blessings to come out of The World Race for me so far is that I am forced into social situations that I am not comfortable with. Cold calling people and asking if they would have time to meet with me is not something I ever imagined doing, and it terrified me to be honest. Even talking to or meeting old friends that I had fallen out of touch with made me nervous. Through the process of engaging with complete strangers and re-engaging with old friends, I am no longer as worried about how others may perceive me.
There are two major reasons for this change in mindset. The first reason is because I know I am not alone. The Holy Spirit is guiding me through every interaction so that each and every interaction with another person is value added for both them and me. I am learning that when I go into an interaction on my own, my mind can easily be filled with negativity and lies. However, when I involve God in each interaction I can be protected from the bad thoughts and I can be sure that there is a purpose behind every single word. I believe the second reason is because all along I desired to share my faith openly and to speak honestly to anyone and everyone about what I believed. I don’t have to pretend to try and fit in or pretend to be cool anymore in social situations. Instead, I can involve the way, the truth, and the life in all of my interactions and there truthfully isn’t a need for anything else. I don’t have to be anxious about interacting with others because I know that I am finally doing my best to be true to myself and true to the one who made me. God has and will continue to work in this area of my life and I am so excited that he is readying me to spur others on towards love and good deeds!
Thank you so much for posting this. I feel like I read about myself being the awkward introvert . I had no idea that this whole time I’ve been listening to the enemy’s lies by avoiding people as much as possible . I now see I have to stop doing this, not sure how , but all I know is your post gave me hope. P.S. I deleted a lot of what I wanted to say in fear of sounding awkward lol
WOW! Thank you for sharing! This sounds like my internal world, especially at the start of training camp. It’s encouraging to see the Holy Spirit working in your heart.